unpublished material

Proust once wrote that all writing was crap and all anyone needed was 3 or 4 books for a lifetime. (Well, he said it with flourish and multi-lined, unpunctuated sentences, but that's the gist.) Maybe he's right. I always had certain "wise" friends in my youth who kept a pulpy copy of a carefully-chosen novel in their backpocket, as if it contained everything they ever wanted to know or read. But, maybe it was just intellectual accessorizing.

I don't know why I wanted this blog. Maybe I felt it was my turn to pollute some public space with my own unnecessary words. Something about blogging reminds me of those concert posters in urban spaces--poles and temporary walls along constructions sidewalks plastered with the same redundant words and images. The weird thing is, each one is designed to catch your attention. The message is written to grab the reader, but wallpapered to the city, they have the impact of background noise. To me, at least. I honestly don't care if anyone reads this. I hope that posting to this blog will feel different to me than those redundant advertisements. I just want a space that makes me accountable to get something written. Everyday. Ok, maybe I want something else.

It's been a long time since I read it, but around sixth grade To Kill A Mockingbird was one of my favorite books. I loved the part where Scout and her brother found the treasures Boo Radley had been hiding in the tree. But far more exciting than that discovery was the notion that he had been putting things there all along. The act of putting something simple out into the world for someone to find (or never find) was thrilling. To me, the finding wasn't nearly as important as the possibility or meaning that is added when something is left behind. It's opening a path for fate to step in. It's faith. My hunch is, it could inspire something even bigger. I don't expect my writing to become one of those backpocket books. I titled my blog "unpublished material" to keep myself honest about it. It's not about anyone reading what I write. I just love the energy that comes from knowing it's out there.